Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Dave Barry on the Economic Stimulus Payment

"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.

"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. Only a smidgen.

"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
"A. Shut up."

(Source: Miami Herald)

I always did get a kick out of that dude's writing. Most of it, anyhow. Like his biological definition of "life":

"Anything that dies when I step on it"
...
In other news, the number of English-speaking persons in China is exploding. They will likely ounumber the rest of the English speaking world by the year 2025.

Homeschoolers? You listening? We've got some work to do...

Should at least make witnessing easier.

...
I'm gonna' go back to my studying now. Y'all have a cheery life.

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