Sunday, April 27, 2008

Did you know?

On the upper right-hand corner of your keyboard there is a button labeled "print screen" (or "prnt scrn").

Poke that.

Now, open a Word document and "paste" into it. (ctrl-v)

And who said my English teacher wasn't cool?

..
Keeps me glad to have been caught
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God - Rich Mullins

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Dave Barry on the Economic Stimulus Payment

"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

"Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
"A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

"Q. Where will the government get this money?
"A. From taxpayers.

"Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
"A. Only a smidgen.

"Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
"A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

"Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
"A. Shut up."

(Source: Miami Herald)

I always did get a kick out of that dude's writing. Most of it, anyhow. Like his biological definition of "life":

"Anything that dies when I step on it"
...
In other news, the number of English-speaking persons in China is exploding. They will likely ounumber the rest of the English speaking world by the year 2025.

Homeschoolers? You listening? We've got some work to do...

Should at least make witnessing easier.

...
I'm gonna' go back to my studying now. Y'all have a cheery life.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Bachelor Pad Rules

#1 If bread sits on the counter for 3 hours and dries out you may:

A. Throw it away.
B. Feed it to the neighbor's dog. (See A)
C. Call it "toast" and eat it with a nice spread of jelly and PB.


That's my rule. Feel free to add your own.

Friday, April 18, 2008

sweat of da brow.

Mark 6: 46, 48, 51

And when he had sent them away, he departed into a mountain to pray.

And he saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them: and about the fourthwatch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them... [the disciples] supposed it had been a spirit, and cried out...

And he went up unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased: and they were sore amazed in themselves beyond measure, and wondered.

For they considered not the miracle of the loaves:
....
You know, I'm like them.
I struggle.
Oh, do I struggle.
I'm always trying to make my life perfect. To get to the other side. To whatever destination I deem important, or believe God wants me to focus on.

But life is stormy. Big waves. Not fun. Scary. And so I row harder. And I fume about the waves. And fight them. And wonder just why on earth I wanted to reach that destination after all. And was it really God's will?!

And I'm there with the disciples, all freaked out.

Meanwhile Jesus Himself, is walking by.

Now just think. What if they had remembered the loaves and fishes. That their Jesus was bigger than any wave. That he would come through. Instead of toiling, wouldn't the Bible read differently? More like "Yo guys! Check that wave out! Think it'll swamp us?! Peter? dude, you oughta' surf that one."

"There he is, guys! Jesus! Hey Jesus! How was the prayer time? Man, are we glad to see you."

Not toiling. Does that mean laziness? nope. The Disciples still had to get into the boat. And no matter what, they would have to wait out the storm until God intervened. They would have had to hang onto the faith that God would not have led them down this road (or sea) only to get stranded. They still had to watch for their Saviour. Their response to the storm could have been peace, not panic.

Maybe one day I'll get it.
...
Matthew 6

31Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

32(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof

Monday, April 14, 2008

sniff sniff

Racing in the cold triggered a cold virus that had been flirting with me for the past week.
Unfortunately, now my sinuses are stuck in a very unhappy marriage.
I am contemplating murder.
..
I stopped by Josh's (co-worker) house tonight. Sometime this morning ,a sinkhole opened up in his front yard. It's pretty cool, about 4 feet across, and about 4 feet deep (counting the dirt partially filling it.) You can tell that more of his yard is about to cave in, by the way it sags, so I'm looking forward to seeing how big it gets.

I'll call you guys when it gets big enough for spelunking.

...
I Googled myself tonight. It's good to do so every now and then. It's kind of like checking your credit report. Tonight I got a 102. (And 3 of those were actually for Martha Hamp.)

But there's some cool stuff too. Here's an interview I did some time ago.

..
I'm never alone.
- Barlow Girl

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Tilles Park

Quick update:
I did the Tilles Park Crit today (Saturday) my first race for the season. I had one goal: keep the bike upright.

I like easy goals.

..

It was ugly and cold most of the day which can be a little disheartening. But Richard loaned me his extra gloves so I stayed pretty warm. He also talked me into doing an extra race, so I started at 11am with the Cat 3/4's. I'm a new 4, and I've only ridden my bike about 6 times since last October, so I figured I'd get spit out the back pretty quickly. But thankfully nobody seemed in too big of a hurry.

I didn't feel comfortable in the middle of the peleton, so I just moved into the rear and hung out -- out of the wind and everybody else's way. Unfortunately, about halfway through the race a Big Shark dude went down in front of me. He went one way, and his bike went the other. I was able to stop just before hitting his bike. But then then I was still stuck in my high gear, and by the time I got going, the peleton had gotten about a quarter-mile away. I chased for awhile, but wasn't able to push past the wind and catch them again. After a couple of laps I was spent, so I pulled out.

The afternoon 4/5 race went pretty well. Was really squirrly, as most 5 races are. Some dude ate it in the first ten minutes. Who knows. I snuck past him nicely though. This time
I raced harder, and even went off the front a little. But I still almost got stuck in another wreck when the same dude locked up his brakes and started to go sideways (don't ask me how I ended up behind him again). I had a brief sideways moment as well, but we all got it straightened out and kept racing. When the peleton surged for the last lap, my legs cramped and refused to go faster. Rather than be in the other guys way, I pulled out. There's no reason to be endangering the other riders on the final sprint when I know I am out of contention like that.

..
So a good race. A lot of prayer before the races, and I'm quite thankful that the traveling and racing both went great. Now if I can only get in shape...
//
And we danced on into the night
- Chad Kroeger
//

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Welcome to the State of Misery.

Missouri. If you don't like the weather, stick around. It'll change.

My alarm clock woke me up. I don't know what noise it makes, but it wakes me up. Honestly. It might go dee-doo-dee-doo-dee-doo, or waaaaaaaaaaaaaa, but I don't know. I'm never awake at that time of the morning. I may be stumbling around the house and looking like I am awake, but that's only a cover.
...

Fifteen minutes after getting out of bed this morning, I was driving to an appointment. The alarm going off on the radio helped wake me up.

"DEEEDOOODEEEDOOODEEDOO. A FLASH FLOOD WARNING IS IN EFFECT....."

You know him. The monotone weather dude. I'm driving through town. Perfectly happy to be asleep. I don't want to know my world's in peril! No wonder everybody hates the weather man. I guess that's why we replaced him with a computer.

I've decided it's time we reword the monotone dude so he's more understandable. That way if you're not yet awake, or just a redneck, you can understand him. Here's my proposals:

(To be read in robotic monotone.)

DEEDOODEEDOO (etc...)
A TORNADO WATCH IS IN EFFECT FOR YOUR AREA. THIS MEANS YOU SHOULD NOT BE OUTSIDE TRYING TO SEE TORNADOS. YOU SHOULD BE INSIDE CALMING YOUR CHILDREN. WHEN WE SEE A TORNADO WE WILL TURN THE LITTLE DEEEDOOO THING ON AGAIN, SO YOU CAN REALLY PANIC. UNTIL THEN, PLEASE ENJOY SOME MOZART. (Classical music plays...)

DEEDOODEEDOO (ETC...)
A TORNADO WARNING IS IN EFFECT FOR YOUR AREA. TORNADIC ACTIVITY HAS BEEN SIGHTED. IN OTHER WORDS, PIGS, COWS AND HORSES HAVE BEEN SEE IN THE AIR. MYTHOLOGY IS FALSE, SO WE DEDUCE IT TO BE A TORNADO. SEEK A LOWLYING AREA IMMEDIATELY.

DEEDOODEEDOO (etc..)
A FLASH FLOOD WARNING IS IN EFFECT FOR YOUR AREA. AVOID LOWLYING AREAS. HOWEVER, THE NOAA WEATHER ADVISORY IS NOT LIABLE FOR ANYONE GETTING SUCKED UP BY A TORNADO. OR TORNADIC ACTIVITY.

Just imagine what it would say at the rapture....
//////

Let mercy lead
Let love be the strength in your legs
And in every footprint that you leave
There'll be a drop of grace

If we can reach beyond the wisdom of this age,
Into the foolishness of God

That foolishness will save
Those who believe

Although their foolish hearts may break
They will find peace

And I'll meet you in that place
Where mercy leads

"Let Mercy Lead" by Rich Mullins

Friday, April 4, 2008

Friday. and night.

I parked on the top floor of the new car park tonight, and took the elevator to get back up to it. A bunch of kiddos were in it. And by the coffee table and loveseat it looked like they had been in it for sometime. Ok, kidding about that part. But, in an attempt to strike up a conversation I asked what they were doing tonight.
Loong silence.
Finally the little girl with dreads piped up. "Riding the elevator."
I wonder what the city will think when they get the utility bill.

On a side note: does city utilities send bills to itself?

Cell phone conversation overheard downtown tonight: "Ah, there's nothing out here but stoners and Christians."
I should have offered him a tract.

I thought we had a good start to this year's street witnessing. From the looks of things we have our work cut out for us. But then, so do the emo's. Do pray the Lord of the harvest, to send labourers. Because we might plant for a moment. But it takes a lot of work by a lot of faithful Christians to wrest a soul from Satan.
..

We got sweet new shirts for work.

'nough said.
..


video

My coworker, Alex is crazy. Like, "I saw this sick move on youtube and now I gotta copy it" kinda' crazy.
He's happiest when his bike is:
A. in the air.
B. going backwards.

And he lives in a BMX park.
Rad, huh?
So, not surprisingly, he broke his ankle.
Rumor has it that a bird got caught in his spokes.
Who's to say?
But at least he hasn't lost his penchant for bustin' sweet moves.
...

Consume my thoughts
As I rest in You
I’m now in love
With a Saviour
Bearing the marks of His love

So I’ll wait upon You now
With my hands released to You
Where a little faith’s enough
To see mountains lift and move

And I’ll wait upon You now
Dedicated to Your will
To this love that will remain
A love that never fails
"Second Chance" - Hillsong United.