Moving things around

Man I'm exhausted.  I probably shouldn't even log onto here when I am so tired, but, eh, that's bloggin' right? The good, the bad and the random.

My lady rearranged the lights while I was at work.  So now we now have  3 floor lamps in the living room.  I know she did it just for me -- she personally likes everything darker.  At night, she prefers no lights whatsoever in the bedroom -- even the glow from the alarm clock is a little much.  And I think she'd run the living room on candles if I'd let her.   (Which does have a very cool effect, I must say)

Me?  I've slept --among some of the more esoteric places -- on asphalt (st louis parking lot), tile (Cape Verde patio), and a table (Biology study session before a final), all in daylight.  Guess it shows that opposites complement each other.

Or that this poor lady has a very weird husband.
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"A statesman is a politician that's been dead 10 or 15 years" - Harry S. Truman

My wife and I had a in-depth conversation the other night about American's "debt" to others.  Basically, God has given us so much, what --and in what ways -- should we give back?

Basically, how much are we responsible for changing the world?

I've been mulling over that question for several days now.  And I'm beginning to think each of us carries a bigger responsibility than we typically take on.

In Afica, the roads are littered with garbage.  Everybody just drops their wrappers and wastes whereever they are. It's a very third-world thing.

Or so I thought. 

This afternoon, I watched the big SUV roll their window down and flick a cigarette out of the window.  It rolled along, carried by the wind, and ended up in the gutter.

Two minutes later a car behind me did the same thing.

Suddenly, I realized that the only thing seperating us from a third-world country, is that we have the money for street-sweepers, they don't.

Most of us would agree with Harry Truman's definition of a statesman.

Maybe we forget what a real statesman is. 

Where is that statesman that does put his God first, his family next, and truly seeks to make a difference in the lives of his fellow Americans?

Maybe I can get to be that guy.  It's worth a try.

Good at Grudges

I've been learning something.
I'm good at grudges.

You know the old quip?

"Everytime we fight, my wife gets historical."

"You mean hysterical, right?"

"No, she gets historical, she remembers every wrong I've committed since we first met."

And as I began molding my personality into this new relationship with Joanna, I began discovering that I had a amazing "historical" capability  to my grudge holding.


And what one of us doesn't?  

I mean, which one of us doesn't bear the scars of left by a teacher, a principal, a law enforcement officer, a pastor, a dad, a classmate, an employee....

that didn't somehow blatantly mess up our lives up in some way?

Christ said it this way,
"It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!" (Lu 17:1)

And check out the disciples' response: "Lord, Increase our faith." (Lu17:5)

You've gotta remember, these are the same disciples that have seen the dead raised and demons go running.  These powerful acts never elicit this response from them.

But Christ's five-verse sermon on forgiveness does.

I've been needing more faith for this area.


Recently, I've come across a book called The Bait of Satan, by John Bevere.
And God's been using this book in a powerful way to build my faith, and free me from bitterness.

I wish I could buy a copy for every Christian.  I know so many that have been through divorces, and church splits, and abusive relationships.  We can all agree.  They were the victim. The other party royally wronged or even tried to destroy them.

Satan takes those offenses, those wrongs, and finishes destroying that person.

I was fast becoming that person.
For once I've found a peace and a release through this work.  I thank God for it.

(The local library doesn't have it, but CPO seemed to have the lowest price in town. Amazon is a few dollars cheaper)  


Definitely make this one a priority read for 2010.


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So, my wife watched George Clooney's Hope For Haiti Now broadcast last night.  And then we sat up Youtubing the best performances.  (You've gotta' look up Justin Timberlake.  Probably the best [or dare I say - "the only decent"] performance of his entire career.)


Here's my favorite.  Keith Urban, Sheryl Crow, and Kid Rock.  Check it:

Bang Head Here

Years ago when I worked in the warehouse at Sherwinn-Williams on St. Louis street, one of the co-workers printed out a piece of paper labelled "Stress Kit".  It had a large circle in the middle with the instructions for use underneath:

Bang Head Here

He taped it to one of the concrete walls.

It's been one of those weeks.

When I started at Chase, I had hoped to make it a permanent career move.  In the time I've been there, they've shut down one call center (in Canada), changed my job description once, tried out 5 different commission structures, and assigned me to three different managers. 

On top of that, there have been some major (beneficial) changes in credit card legislature that will be in full effect in a matter of weeks.  (Haven't been keeping up with the changes? Oh no. READ THIS!) Basically, the days of banks legally robbing their customers are numbered.  And, well, the bank writes my paycheck.

I can just see myself giving 60 hours a week to a company and ending up on the welfare line.

So, instead of spending an extra twenty hours a week promoting myself in the company, I'm investing it in college, wracking up some more bills and hoping desperately that it will all pay off in some sort of workable nursing degree.

That's not a half-bad plan, until colleges start losing transcripts and other important documents. Applications get denied.  Financial aid falls through.

It's been a frustrating week as I watch one well-laid plan after another crumble before my eyes.

The new baby will be here in months.  My wife needs a bigger place. And a baby bed. (And dresser, and carseat, and diapers)

Heck, she needs me to be around once in awhile.

I find myself singing the Keith Green song "now there ain't no use, banging your head, up against that cold, stone wall..."

And then there's that story of Christ's disciples trying to row across the Sea of Galilee

A storm arises with waves crashing on every side.

They are rowing, sweating, praying for their lives.

And Christ? Well, "...about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them."

And the disciples freaked out, thinking he was a ghost.

"And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid.

And he went up unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased: and they were sore amazed in themselves beyond measure, and wondered."

Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't lay off the rowing, and let Jesus into the boat.

I'll let you know how it turns out.