Bang Head Here

Years ago when I worked in the warehouse at Sherwinn-Williams on St. Louis street, one of the co-workers printed out a piece of paper labelled "Stress Kit".  It had a large circle in the middle with the instructions for use underneath:

Bang Head Here

He taped it to one of the concrete walls.

It's been one of those weeks.

When I started at Chase, I had hoped to make it a permanent career move.  In the time I've been there, they've shut down one call center (in Canada), changed my job description once, tried out 5 different commission structures, and assigned me to three different managers. 

On top of that, there have been some major (beneficial) changes in credit card legislature that will be in full effect in a matter of weeks.  (Haven't been keeping up with the changes? Oh no. READ THIS!) Basically, the days of banks legally robbing their customers are numbered.  And, well, the bank writes my paycheck.

I can just see myself giving 60 hours a week to a company and ending up on the welfare line.

So, instead of spending an extra twenty hours a week promoting myself in the company, I'm investing it in college, wracking up some more bills and hoping desperately that it will all pay off in some sort of workable nursing degree.

That's not a half-bad plan, until colleges start losing transcripts and other important documents. Applications get denied.  Financial aid falls through.

It's been a frustrating week as I watch one well-laid plan after another crumble before my eyes.

The new baby will be here in months.  My wife needs a bigger place. And a baby bed. (And dresser, and carseat, and diapers)

Heck, she needs me to be around once in awhile.

I find myself singing the Keith Green song "now there ain't no use, banging your head, up against that cold, stone wall..."

And then there's that story of Christ's disciples trying to row across the Sea of Galilee

A storm arises with waves crashing on every side.

They are rowing, sweating, praying for their lives.

And Christ? Well, "...about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them."

And the disciples freaked out, thinking he was a ghost.

"And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid.

And he went up unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased: and they were sore amazed in themselves beyond measure, and wondered."

Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't lay off the rowing, and let Jesus into the boat.

I'll let you know how it turns out.